Let’s face it. For some of us, lugging around extra weight can be depressing and a chore. Extra weight can have us hiding out, refusing to participate in, say, LIFE! Sure there are plus-sized sistas whom we admire – Jill Scott, Queen Latifah, and Monique – HOWEVER, these sistas have what some of us lack: CONFIDENCE and SELF LOVE.
So what’s our problem?
Loving ourselves through any difficult process can be tough task without being taught HOW or if it wasn’t instilled in us at a young age. We at Get Fit Black Girl have been there, and we’re still learning and growing. We know it takes guts to stand in front of the mirror naked and look at all the battle scars (rolls and flab) left on our bodies after years of emotional eating. And yes, we did this to OURSELVES. The scars are reminders to us that we don’t love ourselves and are afraid of others loving us too.
When you think of it in terms of love, weight DOESN’T matter. Our plus-sized sheroes listed above are a true testament. Jill, Queen Latifah, and Monique all loved themselves first before slimming down. And even though they shed the weight, they are still not what Hollywood considers the ideal body type. However, we sistas see their beauty in their smiles and that glow. We recognize that beauty from within. We celebrate their ability to translate their self-love into taking better care of their health, which started with weight loss. And as our plus-sized icons have demonstrated, we don’t have to be a size 2 to be sexy AND healthy.
So how can we love ourselves? Well, it doesn’t happen overnight, especially if you’ve used food to hide the very problems you eat over like we have. One of the first steps we’ve taken towards loving ourselves is to take inventory. The inventory consists of all the hurt, pain, anger, resentment, sordid secrets, and guilt we carry around our waists, our arms, our abs, our thighs, and even under our chins. Loving ourselves means we must acknowledge it all. Unless we are able to come to terms with it, we will never be able to fully look at ourselves in the mirror, much less love what we see.
Know that the first inventory will be shocking, painful, and may create some emotional discomfort. That’s okay. Be concerned if you feel nothing. Call your BFF or that person in your life that you can trust, and bear it all. Cry it out, talk it out, and if necessary, talk with a counselor. The goal is to release the bad to embrace the good. What we’ve been hiding is our true selves, and we avoid life because we don’t know who we are.
If you’re unsure on how to begin an inventory, create three columns on a piece of paper (better to get a journal) by drawing lines vertically down the page. Head one column, “What/Whom I am resentful at.” Label the second column, “The Cause.” And the last column, “It Affects My.” Be as detailed as possible. You can even divide the columns even further to pinpoint underlying emotions. For instance, if something happened that affects self-esteem, it may be tied up into how you behave or react. The exercise requires complete honesty, full disclosure, and a willingness to accept. Then repeat the inventory template for anger, fear, and yes, even sex. If you still need help, email us at getfitblackgirl at gmail dot com for templates to help you get started.
If one inventory is not enough, do another. Keep doing them until it becomes natural to feel GOOD! Do a daily inventory to make sure you’re emotional fitness is in tip-top shape! We no longer have to be a slave to food, nor do we have to wait until we lose weight to put ourselves on a pedestal. We deserve love and happiness. Why not start claiming it now? Why not feel good NOW?
It’s time to heal ourselves, Sistas!
It’s time to love ourselves.