From the Founder’s Personal Diaries: Entry #6

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Entry #6

Dear Diary:

Whew! Where do I begin?

Well, my job is having “The Biggest Loser” contest. I thought, “Wow! How perfect is THIS?” It started this week – Monday to be exact. I was so excited to get the email. I saw flyers in the past where it had been done before. I stepped out of my comfort zone and created a team. I just started asking folks in my unit. We can have up to 15 people. My team is up to 11 now. I’m so excited about it. Who knew I’d have the nerve to ask and build a team. And of course, I’m the team captain. This is huge because I usually wait until I’m appointed. I’ll run against someone, but to take the initiative on some job extra-curricular activity isn’t me – well, without being asked to do it. It feels good to exercise my natural leadership skills. It also gives me the opportunity to play diplomat and mediator. A few co-workers on my team don’t gel well. So I will be doing my best to make sure I keep things interesting for them as team captain. And we want to win, so at least we ALL have that in common – that and the fact that we ALL were about five pounds MORE on the job’s scale than what our scales read at home. My scale lied to me – to my face even – and told me I was 229.7. Well, am I glad I didn’t record that in my journal or update my weight in my food tracker (which would have been a gain anyway – but that’s besides the point), 235.6 (or 8 – I forget – does it matter?) ain’t not 229.7. My co-workers were so gracious and reminded me that I weigh myself NAKED at home. As I mentioned in a previous post, getting under 230 is the goal. It’s no fun on this side. So I’ve got some work to do.

But I digress…

Another great thing that happened to me is my job status was converted from temporary to permanent. So I can scratch job off my list. It’s been a long time coming. My last full-time job ended in February 2008. Ever since then, it’s been unemployment (and extension thanks to President Obama), temp gigs, food stamps, and public assistance. I am NOT ashamed. You do what you have to do. Also during that time, Dad died…’s been a ROUGH six years. I did manage to invest and start a business, but I still have to SELL in order to really call it that. BUT it’s still a business nevertheless. I have the business license to prove it. The point is I kept it moving in spite of those challenges and learned a LOT about myself. I’m a strong chick. I’ve got a LOT of nerve. When my mind is made up, things happen!

I’m finally growing up!

I’ll be starting school next month, I got the classes I want and NEED to transfer into the B.A. program (also sponsored by my job) in August. The Ph.D. will be just around the corner the way I see it. Things are great!

Today I found out that I have been transferred into another unit. My current supervisor wasn’t too happy about it. I’m disappointed as well. I really like my unit. My supervisor is awesome and I’ve learned a lot from her. Unfortunately, when you gotta move, you gotta move on this job. Apparently, you can be reassigned with no notice and/or warning. So essentially, my job, which consists of NO TRAVEL, calls for me to live out of a suitcase. I’m just moving one floor above, but it’s a world of difference when you’re the “new girl” all over again. The anxiety over making new friends, wanting to be like, and “fitting in” doesn’t go away when adolescence ends. On the contrary, unresolved low self-esteem triggers come back full force when you’re face with CHANGE.

So having this little curve ball thrown at me just as I was settling into my new permanent status and my assigned unit is a good thing. I must learn to embrace change. I thought about this all throughout the day. I met my new supervisor and new unit members. I’ve worked on that floor before but with a different unit. Still, it’s moving out of my comfort zone. I got comfortable and cozy on my floor, in my unit, in my routine. I also discovered that my need for control stems from low self-esteem. I’ll push myself when I’m up against a wall, but normally, I’ll do what is expected – whether being “Ms. Dependable,” “Ms. Sooooooooooooooooo Nice,” or “Ms. I’ll Do It!” It’s a need to be liked, not to simply be awesome in my natural self.

I have gifts and exceptional work ethic. I’m also very personable, diplomatic, and look to resolve issues. So this new unit is getting THE BOMB! Why not spread all of THIS around? Why confine it to one area? Let it permeate throughout the entire building and all units. I mean, after all, it is my goal to work in all areas and be knowledgeable in all programs. So the Universe is responding. I must not fight against it. I MUST embrace this small change and bring value to wherever they need me. Who knows what was said in those meetings when they chose me to go. People are genuinely sad to see me go. That flatters me. So I can walk away knowing that after a few weeks, I will bond with a few members of my new unit and continue learning and building.

This is what being on a JOURNEY is all about: road hazards, new friends, surprises, delays, detours, beautiful landscapes, breakdowns, adventures, winding roads, steep hills, rocky terrains, and above it all – I get to CHOOSE it all!

So I choose change….

And that just made me smile right now.

4 thoughts on “From the Founder’s Personal Diaries: Entry #6

  1. Congratulations on your perm job, going back to school paid through your job–awesome, becoming a leader for weight loss at your job, and being a survivor over the years. My favorite quote is from Zig Ziglar and I have this on my wall by my bed so I can see it when I go to sleep and when I rise in the morning. Hope it will bless you as much as it blesses me. Keep up the good work.
    Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.
    Zig Ziglar

  2. Hi, love your post. Congrats on going perm on the job, and best of luck on your weight loss. I’m down 14 lbs on a 21 day juice fast, and then transitioning to a 1200 calorie diet supplemented with juice. You’ll do great with the Biggest Loser Challenge – sounds like fun!

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